Indonesian "Cuisine"

It seems that Indonesian ‘cuisine’ really boils down to a few simple concepts, and you will soon see why that statement is a lame attempt at a pun…

Foods stuffed with other Foods: All of the other VSO volunteers will know what I’m talking about here. It’s highly unusual to locate a bun, roll, pastry, or any kind of baked product that doesn’t have some kind of ‘surprise’ inside it. This surprise could be ridiculously sweet, painfully spicy, or completely tasteless. It could be meat, fruit, vegetable, or some kind of gelatin. Either way, one finds oneself trying to locate a place to get rid of the offending ‘cuisine.’ I encountered the strangest example of this just today, when I was served a small pastry product that had the consistency of a honey glazed donut, minus the sweetness. This pastry was drizzled with chocolate sauce and grated cheese. (Chocolate and cheese go surprisingly well together as I discovered in Jogja as I ordered fried bananas with chocolate and cheese as a dessert one night – delicious!) When I attempted to lift this pastry I realized that it was split, and appeared to have some kind of custard inside. I managed to lift it up without too much of the custard coming out, and took a bite. I immediately regretted this as it turns out that concealed within the custard was a piece of sausage not unlike those little wiener units you can get in a can. Yes, this one little piece of food contained:
- Pastry
- Cheese
- Chocolate
- Custard
- And of all things, SAUSAGE
I cannot over-emphasize how strange this was; I don’t know if it was a dessert, appetizer, some kind of composite designed for efficient consumption of both, or something designed for Russian cosmonauts. I managed to ‘squeeze out’ the piece of sausage and finish the rest of the pastry, but only because I was REALLY hungry.

Boiling: Contrary to popular belief I am a huge fan of vegetables. I will eat almost any veggie provided that it’s a) raw and b) not an onion. I lose quite a bit of interest once most of them are cooked. Unfortunately this doesn’t really fly in Indonesia. Vegetables are never – repeat, NEVER – eaten raw here. Instead they are boiled until they are almost non-existent. Once a veggie is deemed edible in Indonesia, it would be something I would throw out at home. Carrots are soft; slimy and sweet, cauliflower is basically destroyed; spinach becomes essentially green water. But wait, it gets worse. In Solo, veggies are boiled with – and I am not making this up, despite my predilection to exaggerate – SUGAR. Yes, again with the sugar. I can’t believe this isn’t an entire nation of diabetics. As a result I have found myself eating far fewer veggies than at home, and choosing to eat by myself in my room more often than I would otherwise. I imagine an Indonesian would try to boil my peanut butter & jam sandwich before letting me eat it; I have to eat alone or I will starve to death.

Frying, Frying and more Frying: Not exactly healthy, and I never dreamed in a million years that I would complain about this, but anything that isn’t boiled in Indonesia is fried. In palm oil. For a very long time. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the fried foods at home, despite the shame spiral I enter after eating them. But for some reason, in Indonesia fried foods just feel much less healthy. Perhaps it’s the strange ‘batter’ that most foods are surrounded by. I managed to eat a fried egg the other night that appeared to be battered. I can’t imagine it was particularly good for me but the other items available to me were so foreign (or completely over-boiled or had so much chilli they were literally on fire) that I was left with few options.

Rice: I think I have adequately covered this particular topic, but fear I will be arrested if the Indonesian blog authorities (you think I’m kidding but I have no doubt they exist) somehow discover I created an entry on cuisine without mentioning it. Ah yes, rice glorious rice and all that…

Drinks with Gelatin: In North America we have ‘bubble tea’ which I’m kind of hoping is a trend that has died and gone away while I’ve been in Asia. This is basically a small chunk of spherical gelatin inside a sweet beverage. At least if I remember correctly from the single time I tried it that is what it is. Well in Indonesia there are random gelatinous chunks of material in many drinks (and foods for that matter). I assume this is some uber-scientific means of getting a hyper-concentrated dose of sugar as quickly as possible – kind of like an Advil LiquiGel, but not for a headache. They tend to be bright pink, and hang out menacingly in the bottom of any random beverage container. Oh by the way – these containers are often clear plastic bags, not unlike Ziplocs. I once ordered a Coke which came in, not surprisingly, a Coke bottle – but the clerk poured it into one of these Ziplocs, inserted a straw and handed it to me. Destroying the carbonation of the beverage was bad enough, but how was I supposed to put this drink down anywhere? I was stunned.

Utensils: In most places in Indonesia if I’m not mistaken, they don’t use knives… or forks, actually. And on the island of Java, they use none. For the most part, in a traditional Javanese restaurant, food is eaten with your hands. Or rather, your right hand, which presents a challenge for a leftie like me. Your left hand is reserved for more, ahem …sanitary… activities. Yes the fork (if any) is used only to push food onto a spoon (if any). Even noodles. Everything with a spoon. It can make for a very messy meal, especially when one attempts to do this with a hand that happens to not be your dominant hand. I feel like Forrest Gump at every single meal. You try eating a stringy piece of boiled spinach with a spoon!

So, in closing, I have lost about 15 pounds since arriving in Indonesia (that’s about 7 kilos for you metric-type readers) and I proudly thought it was because of my dedication to the gym. I think in hindsight it’s really just because the food ain’t that great! Now I know why there are no Indonesian restaurants in Toronto.

Spiders Scorpions & Dragons Oh My!

I have just returned from a fantastic vacation to the rugged landscape and white sandy beaches of Flores and Komodo National Park. My time in Indonesia has been spent learning and working, and this was my first actual vacation since arriving, and will be my last before returning home.

It began in Bali; I arrived late Friday night. Disembarking from the plane, I immediately felt the endorphin rush from the unique sounds and smells that are Bali. I had forgotten, having been in Solo for 4 months, what Bali can do. I arrived at Yulia Homestay (where I stayed on my first days in Bali way back in February, a lifetime ago) and was immediately told that unfortunately there was no room available, despite the fact I had reconfirmed earlier that day. But Made, the manager of the homestay, tries to be accommodating whenever possible (it’s nearly impossible for an Indonesian to say no) so I ended up in a room that was occupied by a long-term resident who just happened to be away. So her things were throughout the room, her cosmetics, her books, her dvd’s, her photos. I felt weird for all of thirty seconds before relenting as always to the powerful philosophy of ‘this is Indonesia.’ I slept like a baby.

The next day we attended an international kite festival on one of Bali’s beaches. The kites were not the standard run-of-the-mill diamond shaped variety I expected, but giant elaborate pieces of art, some of them 7 metres long, with 50-metre tails. At one point the sky was blanketed by them, I counted more than 30. These kites were controlled by hundreds of people on the ground, and these peoples’ attention was always skyward. As a result, when they tried to control their giant kites, chaos ensued, and there were several near misses and collisions on the ground as they ran back and forth.

Sunday morning Jenny and I left for Labuan Bajo to begin our adventure to Komodo National Park. We landed in Labuan Bajo and were met by our guide Maksim (“as in Maxim-um,” he told us) and were on our way to the harbour. As tourism is down this year, Jenny and I managed to end up on a private tour, it was just the two of us – and there was plenty of room on the boat. We were off for our 2½ hour trip to the island of Rinca in Komodo National Park. We had lunch onboard as we sailed and arrived mid-afternoon. The dry season has been firmly in control in the region for some time and the windswept islands surrounding us were all the pale yellow colour of mustard. It was scenery unlike any I had seen before.

We arrived at the pier on Rinca and disembarked for our adventure. Very shortly I was within 10 feet of two massive Komodo Dragons, a male and a female, who were hanging around the kitchen at the ranger station. The male to female ratio is about 3:1, so the males have to fight in order to mate. This particular male had broken his front leg last mating season and when he walked in a lumbering yet menacing way, he actually used the top of his right front foot. Our two-hour trek through the forest revealed about 10 more dragons, along with countless water buffalo, one of the dragons’ main sources of prey. One of these dragons was actually hunting us, his forked tongue darting in and out as he approached us ever more boldly. The dragons appear docile as they are often lying down in an attempt to remain cool, but when they walk it is in such as way that betrays the power in their limbs. They can run at up to 30 km per hour for a short distance. Komodo dragons generally hunt by biting their prey, and patiently waiting nearby as the 50 deadly bacteria they carry in their saliva to do their work to kill the victim through infection. The guide always tried to be between us and the dragons. After a two-hour trek to the interior of the island (which, fittingly, resembles the scenery from the movie Jurassic Park, by the way) we were exhausted from the heat and returned to the pier.

Our tour included one night accommodation onboard the boat, but not in a cabin; we slept on deck. Maksim called it ‘thousand-star accommodation’ and for good reason. At one point during the night I woke up to a full moon. It was so bright that I could see the silhouettes of all of the islands surrounding us. The water was dead calm, the world completely silent. No one else was awake and I felt that the whole beautiful scene was just for me. I sat up and just – watched – for about 15 minutes before sleep overtook me again.

The next day we sailed to Komodo Island, which unfortunately, due to its topography, is not a good place to actually see Komodo dragons. We satisfied ourselves again by the beautiful scenery and views, and the Timor deer hanging around near the beach. Our trek was shorter here and we were soon off for an afternoon of snorkelling. Saying good-bye to the Park, we headed off for a 3-hour sail to an unnamed island near Labuan Bajo that has the most beautiful beach and best snorkelling I have ever experienced. It had the finest, whitest sand I have ever seen. Jenny and I were in awe of the coral reef below us; it was like a giant botanical garden with colours, textures, and features that were so unique they actually didn’t seem natural, like clamshells that glowed bright turquoise & purple in the sunlight, small white fish that rammed us relentlessly if we approached their nests, sea urchins and anemone, and countless other wonders. We didn’t want to leave here but soon it was time to return to port.

The next morning we traveled to the Stone Mirror Cave, so named because there is a narrow passage within it that has stone walls about 50 feet high. At the top of this passage is a small hole that allows a beam of sunlight to enter. At approximately 1:00pm the beam of sun is such that is comes straight down and makes the two stone walls appear to be a mirror image of one another. Unfortunately we were there early in the morning so were unable to experience this particular sight. What we did see, however, were countless stalactites and stalagmites, crystals embedded into stone walls, a fossil of an ancient sea turtle, the biggest cricket I have ever seen, several bats, and in an isolated, cold, black cavern – to his credit the guide did warn me about this – giant hideous black spiders, larger than my nemesis from Ubud. I could not get out of this cavern quickly enough, but the guide suggested we turn off our flashlights to feel the darkness. I admit I could only do it for about 5 seconds, and also admit that I turned my light back on before Jenny. I am not sure I have ever experienced blackness so total, with no ambient light whatsoever. Later, when I had internet access, I discovered that these are actually not spiders at all, but Whip Scorpions that live in that black black cave. They are venomous and deadly to man. And yet I paid to be there among them.

Jenny and I returned to Bali later that day, and I discovered that our office was going to be closed for an extra day after the presidential elections. I almost immediately began the process of changing my flight and extending my stay in Bali, which, by the way, meant actually going to the airport, as you must do it in person at the airline’s airport office. The airline informed me that due to the restrictions on my ticket I was unable to change my flight and if I wanted to stay the extra day I needed to buy a new ticket. This had been a fantastic vacation, and a wise man who knows who he is but shall remain nameless, often says to me that one should ‘take advantage of the opportunities that life presents.’ Truer words were never spoken, and today my wallet is a little thinner. Worth every penny.
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There are only about 2700 Komodo Dragons alive in the wild and Komodo National Park, a United Nations World Heritage Site, is under constant danger from poachers, human encroachment, unsustainable tourism and climate change. You can help preserve this amazing corner of the world by donating to the Nature Conservancy, which funds the parks’ rangers and guides in partnership with the Indonesian government. Please visit www.nature.org to make a donation. You may also vote for Komodo National Park to be included in the new 7 Wonders of the Natural World at www.new7wonders.com.